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Something is definitely not right. If this is a year ago, why am I living in this flat? Why do I own clothes that I bought just recently? Confused, I crumble a piece of bread while I wait for Natalie at Cecconi’s. When the door opens I look up and freeze: there’s Natalie talking to the waiter, but she’s not alone. Clustered around her are Will, Finn and… Cassius. Why on earth is he here? I’m expecting to see Rose coming in next, but he’s obviously alone. The four of them are talking and laughing as they approach me.

“Livia, good to see you!” Natalie kisses me on both cheeks. Finn does the same, then Will and, no, it can’t be! Cassius bends down, his lips are brushing mine. Just as well I’m sitting down, otherwise my legs would have given way. They take their seats around the table, Cassius beside me, putting his arm around me as a matter of course. What the hell’s going on?

“Have you finally decided on giving up your flat and moving in with me again?” he asks me, smiling. My mouth drops open. I’ve dreamed about this scene countless times and now it’s real. But what about Rose?

The four of them are staring at me, and I realise that I’ve spoken out loud. Natalie looks at me as if I weren’t right in the head. “But Rose has been gone for ages!” she says, shaking her head at me.
 

   
   “Like Eamon?” I ask in a small voice.

Will starts to giggle. “Livia, what’s wrong with you?” he guffaws. “First you call Natalie in the middle of the night and now you’re asking questions as if you can’t remember the last few weeks!” Well, he’s right, isn’t he? That’s the problem really, I don’t know what has happened. Everything seems to be upside down. I mean, it appears to be perfect. Cassius and I are a couple again, as I always secretly wished. Suddenly I remember Eamon’s words: You don’t know what you’re doing! I thought I did, but now I’m not so sure anymore.

   
         
 
 

© Elke Stevens